Lockdown II started on November 5th. At least the date’s easy to remember, remember. Blackpool Illuminations have been switched off mid-season for the first time since 1939. The Army have occupied Pontins in Southport. Parts of Fallowfield have been turned into a prison camp. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is probably wishing he’d been furloughed. Andy Burnham has given a speech about Hilda Ogden’s muriel. Memes are going round about the House of Commons Nativity Play being cancelled because no-one can find three wise men. Denmark has been taken off the travel corridor list because the virus is mutating in mink. And the US presidential election is about to be decided by Clayton County. “Take a good look, my dear. It’s a historic moment.”
It really isn’t funny, even though it sometimes sounds it.
Infection rates are still going up. The North West continues to be the worst-affected part of the country. Some hospitals are starting to struggle. More and more jobs and businesses are going, despite the furlough scheme and the other support being made available. And there’s no end in sight. It was bad enough in the spring, when the days were longer, summer was coming, and people weren’t mentally exhausted from months and months of restrictions. “Super Saturday” was on July 4th. Greater Manchester was put under additional restrictions on July 31st. Didn’t get much of a respite from it all, did we? And the doom merchants are claiming that the lockdown will be extended until March. Like Narnia under the White Witch – always winter, never Christmas.
It won’t go on until March. The economy wouldn’t take it. But the bloody Tier 3 restrictions might well go on till March – the Welsh authorities are abandoning local lockdowns, but the English authorities seem dead set on pursuing them. Like last time, the weather’s turned nice just as we aren’t supposed to be going anywhere. I’d booked to go round Blackpool Illuminations on a heritage tram tomorrow. It would have been lovely, in this weather. And Blackpool’s desperate for tourism business. But Greater Manchester and 1974-admin-borders Lancashire class as separate areas for Tier 3 travel restrictions purposes, so that was messed up a few weeks ago. And now, with Lockdown II, the Illuminations have been switched off. For the first time since 1939, when they had to be switched off so that they wouldn’t shine through the blackout.
The Tower remains lit, so that it can be a symbol of hope.
United’s terrible start to the season is not the fault of the virus, to be fair. And it was really rather sweet of Andy Burnham to take a few minutes out to congratulate Coronation Street on its forthcoming 60th anniversary. But what on earth were the idiots in charge of the University of Manchester thinking of when they decided to put metal fences round halls of residence in Fallowfield, as a “Covid security measure”? I’m sure we’re all well aware that there’ve been issues with the virus spreading at universities, but you can’t just put fences around people’s accommodation, like a prison camp. Most of the people living in halls are 18 or 19-year-old kids who’d never lived away from home until the middle of September. Use a bit of sense, please. Following an outcry by students and the general public, the fences are being removed a day after they were put up.
That particular cunning plan was so ridiculous that even Baldrick wouldn’t have come up with it. However, two other cunning plans are supposed to offer more hope. And, like everything else seems to do at the moment, they centre on the North West. One is a “lateral flow” virus test which gives results in half an hour, and is being trialled in Blackburn. The other is mass testing in Liverpool. Mass testing was supposed to be being trialled in Salford earlier in the year, but it didn’t seem to get very far. Maybe this’ll work better. It’s being carried out by soldiers. Who are being accommodated at Pontins in Southport.
It’s no better anywhere else. And at least we aren’t about to massacre 17 million mink, which Denmark is having to do.
This won’t go on for ever. Pandemics never do. But it would be nice to be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, at least there are still lights on Blackpool Tower. And, hey, at least public toilets are staying open during Lockdown II, so we haven’t got to cope with all that again. And, if anyone’s actually read all that, thank you for reading, and please look after your physical and mental health x.
Lockdown II. Here we go again …